I Feel Lost

Alright, look. I became politically aware during the 2000 election. Yes, that battle royale between Bush and Gore was what lit my little political flame. I was 11 years old, and read my parents' Newsweeks and watched CNN religiously. I even made collages to hang in my windows. I wasn't the coolest kid in Junior High, okay? Of course, this interest blossomed into full blown obsession after 9/11. While the rest of the world was rallying behind Cowboy Bush, I was once again researching and reading, and even made a collage or two. During high school, politics was my main hobby. I read the Communist Manifesto when I was sixteen, making me the beloved Socialist I am today (please don't stone me to death.)

But that whole time, I had someone to rail against. I had the Bush administration. I was driven by the desire to make things better, to change foreign policy, and to open the eyes of my peers to the lies the country was being fed. Again, I wasn't the coolest kid. I was angry. I was very, very angry. Change was needed. It had to come.

And then it did. With Obama, our country is (hopefully) going to turn a new leaf. And that is wonderful. It's necessary, and it's great, and while I'm not trying to be unrealistic, I really think things are going to get better. So here's the problem: I'm happy.

I know. It's awful. I have no sense of condescension when I think about who is running the country. No sense of being able to do it better myself. I'm not bitter, or disillusioned, or anything like that. I'm hopeful, happy, and proud of my own country. This has never happened before, and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. I suddenly have faith in who is running the show, and even feel protective of him. It's . . . it's. . . shocking.

In time, I will learn how to deal with my new found patriotism. I'll come to terms with the fact that I don't want to flee the country and actually agree with the president. But until then, I'm stuck in this uncomfortable state of contentment, and will have to find something else to target my resentment on. At least I'll always have Bill O'Reilly. . .

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